Minecraft, the hit sandbox game from Mojang, is entertaining to millions of people. Most of these people are children. Most of these children are under 6. Are you under six? Why are you playing this game?
Before I get into it, I’d like to say that this game is entertaining for a solid few hours. Figuring out how everything works, fighting off monsters, that sort of thing. Rarely in any of these reviews will I not have played and, to some extent, enjoyed the game in question. Now that that’s out of the way, here we go.
My primary issue with Minecraft is that it is BORING. This is a general rundown of survival mode.
1. Find a tree.
2. Punch the tree, get wood.
3. Make a pickaxe.
4. Dig stone.
5. Make better pickaxe.
6. Dig stone, find coal.
7. Build a house.
8. Make a bed.
EVERY DAMN TIME. No matter what the game world looks like, these are the steps you follow. And for the record, creative mode:
1. Build something large.
2. Show it to people.
If you are doing anything else, you are wasting even more time than the people who do this.
There’s another issue I have with this game, and it involves the cross-platform complications. First off, PC has a lot more.…stuff, than the console edition. Not realy something I care about particularly, considering I don’t play this game anymore on any system. What does bug me, were I ever to go back to it, is that the console version has this nifty interface that allows you to quickly craft any object you desire, given you have the parts to make it. So WHY, IN THE FUCK, DOES PC NOT HAVE THIS?! WHY is my head FILLED with recipes to make picks, shovels, doors, beds, ladders, torches, swords, axes, armor, hoppers, redstone devices, etc. when you could have just had a drop down menu to sort that shit out for me? Wasted brain space, forever.
In all seriousness, I could never play this game again and be fine. I probably will play it again, because I have a problem, but that’s besides the point. If you haven’t played minecraft, go do it. It’s only $20 and is about a $20 experience. Math says that’s fair.