Holy Shit!!! They are re-re-releas­ing Res­i­dent Evil in HD on PS4!!!!! The Excite­ment dom­i­nat­ed my mind as I pre­ordered my favorite game from my youth. The weeks I wait­ed were bru­tal, no game I played could com­pare, The Hype was real, God Damn it.

The Day came and my dig­i­tal pre­order unlocked, The open­ing cut scene plays, Fuck Yes. I choose Jill Valen­tine, If I have to look at an ass for hours, its going to be a female’s ass. The Graph­ic Upscale was great, it played just how I remem­bered. End­less­ly going through doors and hall ways while pick­ing my bat­tles sparked mem­o­ries of a sim­pler time in life. I was actu­al­ly hav­ing fun. Then.…..

The great scene when jill ends up trapped in a room with the roof com­ing down on her, depend­ing on the choic­es you made good ole’ Bar­ry saves you last minute. I was excit­ed, wait­ing to hear “You Almost Were a Jill Sand­wich” the time has arrived!!!!! That Moth­er Fuck­er, That cock suck­ing bas­tard Bar­ry says “You Almost Fit Nice­ly in a Sand­wich” JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!!!!! WHAT FUCK JUST HAPPENED?????? They changed the god damned line!!!!! Why? I loved that line!!!! part of the charm of game. I came to find out they rere­cord­ed the voice act­ing!!!! I mean “You are the mas­ter of unlock­ing” was still there, why did they change jill sand­wich????!!!!! After that I start­ed notic­ing oth­er changes. Jills Breast, her boo­bies, tit­ties, boul­ders, sweater moun­tains, fun sacks bounced!!!!! But… its not great guys, her eyes, as well as every oth­er NPC in the game still stare emo­tion­less, often in the oppo­site direc­tion of the con­ver­sa­tion. Its creepy. They add boob bounc­ing (not great but they bounce) but they can’t fix the god damn creepy eyes!!! Those god damn Japan­ese. The game worked great, Pro­vid­ed a great res­i­dent evil expe­ri­ence with all the appro­pri­ate chal­lenges, and great inven­to­ry man­age­ment impor­tance. If you like Res­i­dent Evil you will love this remake, But if you’re an old fuck like me who was a huge fan of the orig­i­nal release you will miss and despise the removal of some of the trade mark charm of Res­i­dent Evil.

I say buy this game, don’t be a bitch, pussy foot­er or pro­cras­ti­na­tor, If  you like Res­i­dent Evil, Buy It.

Give Us A Res­i­dent Evil 2 Remake Cap­com, We will buy it.