Where the fuck is the van?” Is a com­mon line Im heard say­ing while car­ry­ing a bag of cash, play­ing Bat­tle­field Hard­line’s mul­ti­play­er. Blood Mon­ey. I fuck­ing love that game mode, get­ting in a squad ticked out with my fel­low MRQ mem­bers, pre­pared to put the oppo­si­tion to death as we scur­ry off with duf­fle bags of cash to secure them in our vault. Some­times I just sit at the ene­my vault and kill them as they try to run for the cash pile. Full out ass­hole mode. Sur­vival of the fittest, I learned the hard way when groups of cock suck­ers sat at my vault, trap­ping me, killing me over and over. It was dig­i­tal rape. Now the prey has turned preda­tor and I love it.

Bat­tle­field 4 was a fuck­ing joke, seri­ous­ly. The game took over a year to be in playable form and even that is sub­jec­tive. It was a huge black eye to the series. Those moth­er fuck­ers at DICE sold us gamers, their audi­ence — a piece of shit not worth giv­ing to your worst ene­my, then had the fuck­ing balls to take a year to fix it. It was regod­damndicu­lous. So nat­u­ral­ly I was skep­ti­cal when I heard about Bat­tle­field hard­line. Hard­line being the first entry into the Bat­tle­field series not devel­oped by DICE, but instead Dead Space devel­op­er Vis­cer­al. Vis­cer­al had a lot of neg­a­tive ener­gy to work through but tal­ent pre­vails an they fuckin did it!!! I was for­tu­nate enough to have access to both betas on the PS4 and the build they had at The Playsta­tion Expe­ri­ence and I fell in love, The cops and rob­bers feel is refresh­ing and fun, the sin­gle play­er “Episodes” are great and set up to make it feel like a cop dra­ma tele­vi­sion show and it accom­plish­es it. The mul­ti­play­er is fun and diverse, I have yet to encounter game break­ing lag, nice and smooth.

Now Im done suck­ing Vis­cer­als dick, lets get to the bull­shit, theres not much but there is a small steam­ing pile of dook­ie.

The RPG/SMAW/Etc. — Why did you take it from me? Moth­er Fuck­ers!!!!! Its a lot of fun to use and RPG. Its hard to play anti-vehi­cle when you took my fuck­ing RPG away. This leads to point 2.

Vehi­cles are Over­pow­ered because of the lack of equipable rock­ets —  The over­ly descrip­tive, long sec­tion title says it all. Heli­copters and armored vehi­cles are too strong because we don’t have quick access to rock­ets.

Spawn camp­ing — Ok well this one isn’t real­ly Vis­cer­als fault, its an inher­ent prob­lem with any FPS with respawns. Its the play­ers that are fucks. knock it off cunts.

Oth­er than the items Ive list­ed, I love Bat­tle­field hard­line. I see myself putting a lot of time in to this game. Give me back my fuck­ing RPG!!!!!!!!!!!